Keeping an Eye Out

Note from Mama: "What does that mean anyway? Keep an eye out. Do you remove your eye, periscope-like, and look around? I don't get it."

It's both punishment and threat. See, both eyeballs apparently missed whatever it was you wanted to see the first time. So, then you take out one of your eyeballs, chastise it soundly, and leave it outside on the front porch to locate your quarry.

Of course, both eyes know the possible dangers of staying outside for the night, even so close to the front door. They could be rained, snowed, or hailed on, chewed to smithereens by hungry dogs, kicked in disgust by proselytizing mormons, or taken by crows to fly atop their nests to intimidate both predator and prey, much like the Jolly Roger was flown above pirate ships of yore.

The eyeball left outside (let us call him Slim) is, of course, terrorized and, if he survives, will surely stay alert even while you sleep, afraid to miss anything ever again. This could be a problem if you are an individual who absolutely must have her eyelids closed while she sleeps.

The other eyeball (whom we shall call Verna, for the sake of this narrative), the one that missed the brunt of your wroth, will be incredibly intimidated by your vitriolic measures against her brother and will likely endeavour to avoid such future punishment, by any means necessary.

...However, Verna may also be closer to her twin than at first surmised. In this case, there is a chance, however slight, that Verna might mutiny, sever her own optic nerve, and dive out of your skull to save poor Slim.

While this is, indeed, an unfortunate turn of events, all is not lost. Verna may just want to reciprocate your 'tough love' by showing you that she, too, is not without power. Just give you a little scare to make sure you know that she both gets your earlier point, and that she will not be intimidated by her own host body. An awkward but resolveable dilemma.

...Or your errant eyes could also burn down your fucking house while you're staggering around blinded, hands over gaping ocular cavities, screaming obscenities at the Eyes That Done Me Wrong.

Then, Verna and Slim would hop, squashing and stretching and squooshing all the way, nerve in nerve, out into the great wide world, leaving behind the charred and skeletal remains of the Host That Went Too Far, a grisly testament to the advantages of staying on speaking terms with all one's organs.

~An End~

...damn, that needs illustrations.