payback.

I've been reading up on the Jazz Foundation & their pro bono emergency medical services for musicians, about their provision of elder care in exchange for old jazz artists mentoring young musicians. My heart swells with joy:
finally, FINALLY it looks like people are trying to care for each other, starting to show how much they value what's really important (music+love+food+life).

As I'm reading up on the JF's myriad beautiful services, I'm listening to WWOZ's live broadcast from Satchmo Summerfest, right down the street, and somebody up & starts in with "When It's Sleepytime Down South,"
& my chest is tight
& my limbs go soft
& I cannot believe how much LOVE there is
outside my body,
within my ribs, and I am so grateful.
So goddamned grateful.

This music SAVED me.
Kept razors from my wrists & pills from my mouth & now...
O christ, really? Finally?
Do I get to start repaying this debt?
Do I finally get to really say THANK YOU in some sorta way that's really, truly meaningful?
Do I finally get to love the people who so loved me, whether or not they were aware?

Bless Bless Bless this city.
Bless these musicians.
Bless the Love that makes this & all things possible.

Lo, I am grateful & overwhelmed.